This story begins with a proposal. You may not know, gentle reader, but I’ve recently become engaged. This is thrilling and unnerving, as I’m not a person who has spent much time contemplating my wedding. The probability of unicorns and the apocalypse? Yes. The necessity for monogrammed linens? No.
So I’ve coined the #haplessbride hashtag on Twitter to bookend any wild-eyed/delirious assertions on my part regarding venue acquisition, invitation printing or any other foreign concept. I’ve also created a group board on Pinterest: The Hapless Bride: For the Connubially Clueless. If you’re on Pinterest or would like to be, drop me a comment here and I’ll add you. I have invited all my friends to contribute ideas to make my wedding the most eccentric– sorry, most glamorous ever.
Now to the mortifying bit. Like many people, I have allowed my love of Chinese food, Oreos and red cream soda to overtake my common sense. The equation is simple: junk food + soda + lazy lolling = sadface.
I now face the terrifyingly inevitable WEDDING DRESS TRY-ON. I peered in the full-length mirror yesterday and shouted something that cannot be reprinted on this blog (hint: rhymes with goalie schmuck). SOMETHING NEEDS MUST BE DONE.
I’ve been pondering motivational tools. I love being fit, but inertia is more powerful especially when work and family and wedding planning interfere.
Enter Emmie Mears. *drumroll*
You may remember Emmie from the awesome and flattering post she wrote about me and my blog here. Emmie is the founder of #ZAP: Zombie Apocalypse Preparation. Emmie found herself in a similar situation to yours truly and instead of sulking like me she decided to create a killer workout program
I am a big fan of goal setting, so this appealed. I am also a fan of zombies. Well, evading zombies. I added another layer to #ZAP today.
I’d heard about an iPhone app that simulated the apocalypse, Zombies, Run!. It’s a little pricy ($7.99), but all of its 200+ reviews said it was totally worth it. You can see the video that sold me here:
So I went out today and ran 2.79 km. Not a particularly impressive start, but considering the extent of my exercise has been walking to my car, I’m rather jazzed.
For people with an overactive imagination (such as myself), this app is definitely alarming. Imagine running around your suburban neighborhood at just before twilight. Almost no one is out. All the lawns are manicured, the sprinklers are running, the televisions blare unwatched. Perfect scenario for a zombie apocalypse. Cue muffled groans and shuffling feet.
I did return from my mission successful, ruddy-cheeked and unbitten.
If anyone is curious, this is my first End of World Playlist.
1) Beautiful Stranger (William Orbit remix) – Madonna
2) Black Horse and the Cherry Tree – KT Tunstall
3) Fibre de Verre – Paris Combo
4) Helena (So Long and Goodnight) – My Chemical Romance
5) Hate It or Love It – The Game
6) Hips Don’t Lie (feat. Wyclef Jean) – Shakira
So thanks to Emmie for being a motivational rock star. She’s #ZAP team captain. I’m first mate. Anyone else in?
You’ll want us on your team at the end of the world.