Month: March 2013

ALL THE ANNOUNCEMENTS!

This post is such a massive series of announcements that it took me until the day before to even figure out how to say it all in one post.

First of all, THE BIGGEST NEWS. I’ve made you wait this long; I won’t torture you any further.

In the past few years, I have become aware of a surplus of writing talent in my social media circles. In most cases, I noticed that this talent was not getting the attention, recognition or promotion it deserved.

I tried to do my best to share the love, retweeting and sharing on Facebook, but it didn’t seem enough.

Then, one day, the skies opened up and I was suffused with a golden glow of inspiration. Well, not exactly, but it sounds better than “I almost drove off the road.”

Why not create a small, digital press to publish and promote the work of a select group of authors that I could offer full promotional and sales support? Why not put my money (or at least my time and talent) where my mouth is?

So with only a little more fanfare *cue angelic trumpet blast*, I present to you Nine Muse Press:

 

 

Go ahead. Go read about it. I’ll wait.

*munches on pistachios*

 

OH GOOD. You’re back.

 

So, you might ask how you can be a part of this.

 

Well, you can follow NMP on Twitter. #followorperish

You can Like them on Facebook.

 

More excitingly, I have developed an amazing blog affiliate program.

You can qualify for this program if you:

 

A) Have a blog

B) Talk about books sometimes

Look how particular we are. 😉

 

Wondering what the advantages of this program are?

GO SIGN UP FOR IT RIGHT NOW – you will be glad you did!

Related to this announcement, I am pleased to announce that we are releasing our very first e-book, Edgar Wilde and the Lost Grimoire by Paul Ramey. You can click on the link or the cover photo to go to Amazon to purchase. You will love this mystery/adventure!

Catch Edgar Wilde news and events on Facebook

Follow Paul on Twitter at @paulramey  #followorperish

Also, please add Edgar Wilde to your TBR shelf on Goodreads. If you do read it, a few kind words of review on GR or Amazon is SOOOOOO appreciated. Extra MWA to you!

…

 

And finally, last, but never least!

Nine Muse Press would like to announce our second author, Daniel Swensen, whose high fantasy adventure novel Orison will be the second release from Nine Muse Press. Welcome aboard, Daniel!

 

Pretty please follow Daniel on Facebook and Twitter @surlymuse
Phew! Now all I need to do is go get married! Thanks to everyone for enduring yet another magically annoying announcement! 😉

 

Tales of a Zombie Olive

So my lovely friend Holly is running a zombie flash fiction contest on her hilarious blog, Confessions of a Stuffed Olive.

She draws funny cartoons of olives, cats and other creatures. The winner of her contest will get their story illustrated by her.

Artwork owned by Confessions of a Stuffed Olive

You may recall the last time I did a zombie-themed story. That little story won the Fan Favorite contest run by J. Whitworth Hazzard.

I swore then that I would not write another zombie tale.

I lied. Not only did I have to write another flash fiction zombie tale, it had to be a funny one. CURSE MY LUCK!

Of course, my sense of humor is a little warped, so you can see the result:

 

A Life-Long Dream

She carefully traced a carmine line around her lips. They weren’t nearly as full as they used to be, so she had to employ all her arts to evoke youthful beauty. A hint of blusher, a quick hairbrush and she was ready to go.

“I, Norma Jean Pintucker, accept the crown of Miss Yuba City; it’s a life-long dream for me. I’d like to thank my agent, Quincy…”

Norma Jean frowned. What –was- her agent’s name? It rhymed with “squirter”, she was fairly sure. Her memory was worsening.

As she drove her 2006 Audi to the Convention Center, she fretted, “Werter. Frankfurter.” She examined her reflection in the rearview mirror, “Ugh, my skin looks so pasty.”

Once she reached the stage door, she patted her hair into place and whispered, “Showtime.”

The crowning ceremony had already started without her. That wasn’t right. She struggled through the heavy velvet curtain, applause ringing in her ears.

“I’m here!” she shouted, pushing some highlighted blonde stranger in a showy dress away from the microphone.

She plucked the tiara from the velvet pillow and stepped into the spotlight.

“I accept the crown of Miss Yuba City today. I’d like to thank my agent, Quincy-“

She was saved from recalling his name by the scream in the audience.

“Quincy-“

Just then, her lower jaw fell off and clattered to the stage floor.

She gingerly placed the tiara on her head, kicking her jaw into the orchestra pit, “Thank you, ish been a life-long dream.”

 

Copyright Brian Cameron