ZAP: I Am Not a Runner

I don’t know how many of you self-monologue. Hamlet had a bad habit of it. This is recently how the conversation proceeded in my head.


I am not a Runner.


Who says?


Perhaps you’ve forgotten the humiliation of Phys Ed? The dodgeballs driven into your back? The limply terrified swinging from the climbing rope? Coming in last place every relay race? Being picked last for every team? Aiming for the volleyball, only to have it break your glasses? Getting knocked on your rump because you couldn’t catch a fast-pitch softball?


Okay, so your performance in team sports has not always been shining. Your arms and legs were too long for your body during adolescence and you had no coordination. But that was then. You’re turning 33 this year.


Thanks for reminding me. With the 33 year old body to match.


It doesn’t have to be that way. You could be more strong and powerful at 33 than you have ever been in your life.


Who says?


Me. I mean, you. You used to run regularly at the end of high school.


I wasn’t propelling so much mass through space at that time.


You just need adequate incentive.


Well, I AM afraid of zombies.

Emmie Mears is doing that Zombie Apocalypse Preparation training for herself. You remember that?


Oh wow. Emmie’s doing really great with that. I wish I could do that.


You could.


Oh please. I am not a runner. I’m a–


You’re being lazy. And you’re not lazy. You’re letting life dictate to you what your size, shape and stamina will be. You’re letting it take your power.


I am NOT.


Prove it.


So I did. I got out there and wheezed my way through my first K. Then my second. Every other day. I got a killer zombie fitness incentive app called Zombies, Run!. And I proved it. To myself and my inner voice. I didn’t think I could. But I did. Yesterday, I realized that I had ran 30k since August 25, the day I decided to change my own life.



And I’m going to keep changing it. I do want to lose weight for my wedding, but it’s far longer term than that. I want to be healthy. Fitness is not an item to check off the list, because life gets busy and it gets dropped from the list. I’m not going to drop it this time. I’m the only one telling myself that I’m not athletic. I’m the only one who thinks I’m not powerful. And I am not listening to that voice ANY MORE.


I am not a runner.


Who says?


I am a warrior.


12 thoughts on “ZAP: I Am Not a Runner”

  1. Good for you, and trust me, 33 is still a kid. o.O I started running years ago using the Couch-to-5K program (you can Google it) and it was amazingly effective. Fitness has to be a lifestyle, not something we start and stop. I anticipate living well into my 80s (based on the longevity of my forebears) and I want to be as healthy as possible, as long as possible. I don’t run now, but I still cycle and do some weight training.

    Good for you! Never give up, never surrender! πŸ˜‰

  2. Anna, don’t you go knocking 33, missy, because I’m 33 too. πŸ˜‰ You are awesome and should be so proud of yourself for your hard work. Keep it up, because your motivation makes you my hero! πŸ™‚ Plus, once you get a few weeks in, you’ll be hooked. It’s great for the endorphins. Go #teamZAP!

  3. I can completely relate! I have never been very athletic, any my view of myself as a chunky, clumsy geek who is bad at sports has been a roadblock to the path for bettering myself for far too long, I’m proud of you for breaking out of your self-inhibiting self-definitions!

    And, strangely enough, the Zombies, Run! game has helped me in that regard in that I can PRETEND I’m someone else — a badass hero with a will of steel and killer glutes!

  4. Oh how many times have I had this very same conversation with myself….at least a million! I am so proud of you, Emmie, myself and all the #zap warriors that have taken this incredible step. I’ve finally found the motivation I was searching for, finally I’ve found a clan I can belong to. Go forth my sweet Anuna and live the life you were always meant to live!

    P.S. I am all “squee” with the fact that we’re the same age πŸ™‚

  5. Love it, Anna. Take your life back. There’s NOTHING like fitness to make a woman feel strong and powerful. There’s nothing like movement, and sweat, and belonging to a team to make you feel like you can do anything. Because you CAN do anything. I did an olympic-distance triathlon last summer. A freaking olympic-distance triathlon. I signed up on a whim when I saw the sign in the elevator at the YMCA advertising a training team. I trained for six months with the most incredible, exhilarating group of people I’ve ever met. It was the most physically AND mentally challenging six months of my life. And I felt like a freaking warrior after that race. I feel like a freaking warrior every time I think about it. Fight the zombies, Anna. Run like the wind and take back your life. (I’ll send you my playlist.) πŸ™‚

  6. 33. LOL. You’re in your prime, lady. As a former non-runner, I didn’t believe either. Running can transform you, body and spirit. Two bits of advice. One, sign up for a charity 5K ASAP. Running with a big group is an amazing experience for beginning runners. Two, do NOT get down on yourself when you have to stop running regularly. It will happen. Just read this post and start running all over again.

  7. Anna — I LOVE this. Love it love it love it.

    I used to tell people that my personal version of hell would have ole Hades knocking on my door at 4 AM (after I went to bed at 2) to make me run on a treadmill for hours. I used to look at running as torture.

    But now? It’s slowly becoming joy. Last night I wasn’t feeling well, and I still went to the gym with a friend and ran 5K. That last half mile or so DESTROYED me. But I broke my record. Sick. Not-so-motivated.

    We can do anything.

  8. Good for you, Anna! New follower here…
    I get up at 3 am and work as an Administrative Supervisor for Sun-Maid Raisin Growers of California. I usually work 11 hrs. I am 43 now and all of this sitting before my laptop as I chase writer goals is not helping the waistline. Therefore, I do not give myself a chance to get out of it, but simply change into some shorts after work and work my treadmill. I powerwalk on a full incline for 2 miles and then jog for another 2 at a medium pace. This afternoon I worked off 803 calories in that hour. I’ve been doing this since the spring.
    I want to encourage you to keep at it. You can do this! Don’t give yourself any chance of backing out of the work!
    Wishing you the best!


  9. Indeed you are a runner! πŸ™‚ I’ve always been fit and active, but have never succeeded at running until this year. Hubby and I started running in April, using the Get Running app. I still can’t believe I can run 5K now (happily!) but I can, and I’m 48. You can do this, and you can keep doing this! Running makes me happy. I’m looking forward to trying out the Run Zombies app now.

    Being fit will help you cope with all the stress in life. It’s great that you’re doing this now!!

  10. I’m starting to feel some peer pressure with these folks kicking ass all around me. AND I DON’T APPRECIATE IT

    What I do appreciate is your general awesomeness, Anna, congrats. πŸ™‚

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